What Does Furlough mean?

Dear Diary,

Why is everyone talking about furloughs now. I feel left out. I keep going to Zoom Happy Hours pretending I know what it means but really… I am confused. Send help.

^ if that looks like an entry in your COVID-diary, join the damn club. Furlough is EVERYWHERE and yet… no one really knows the ins and outs of what it means. So let me explain!

A furlough is an unpaid leave of absence. If you get furloughed, you remain an employee of your company and (usually) get to keep your benefits even though you’re banned from doing ANY work and do not earn a salary.

It’s different from a lay-off because a layoff is when you’re permanently let go. There’s nothing permanent about a furlough. It’s more like pressing pause.

Think about it in terms of relationships with hot guys. Getting laid-off is when you get straight up broken up with. He dumped your ass! It’s OVER. Getting furloughed, on the other hand, is like going on a break. He kept it open-ended, the way hot guys always do.

So yeah, the point is, if you got furloughed your company is a fuck-boy and you need to make sure you prepare for whatever comes next. Watch the video below for tips on how to react to getting furloughed.

Anyways, got to go call the guy I’m on a break from but pretend it was by accident. Please don’t forget to Cher this with a friend who got furloughed + stay rich, bitch!